“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one...”
Romans 3:10-12 King James Version
Humanity's true identity is evil. When left to our own devices, we will chose destruction, conflict and disparity over creativity, peace and acceptance. If we choose to be good is because we get something out of it, whether is feeling helpful, valuable, useful or wanting something from another in return. It could be love, esteem, acceptance, or simply trying to manipulate and control to get our way. Rarely, if ever, does anyone give to or do for others not expecting a reward. People do the “right thing” for fear of being caught. If our actions were invisible, we would act only to benefit ourselves. We need rules and limits to stop us from completely stealing/killing/hurting each other. Without punishment/consequences, it would be chaos.
Yes, I have very little hope in humanity. I’ve been done wrong by people that I thought cared about me. I had at least two “best friends” in my life that hurt me so deep, I’ll never completely forgive them. I’ve been abandoned by my parents, my (ex) husband, my (ex) church(es) leaders… I’ve cared so much about others, I’ve even abandoned myself. Loneliness is my company. I can’t trust anyone, not fully. Being vulnerable is not an option.
How do you live with an iron shield in front of your face? How far can you go on your own? How many “friendships” can you make and then destroy? Why even bother forming bonds with anyone? And yet… here I am, hoping that someone will care enough to listen, just listen! Don’t give me advice, unless I ask for it. Don’t tell me it could be worse. I know that. Just be there and if you must, just tell me that you understand how I feel. And for chrissakes, don’t make it about you! Not when I’m opening my heart. I’ll just make a timid attempt at sharing my soul, but will retreat at the first sight of ego.
“True Nature” is a song that expresses all these emotions. Here’s to hoping someone, somewhere, can relate.
Steven James — 'The true nature of man left to himself without restraint is not nobility but savagery.'
