Either by nature or nurture, I am a pessimist. I have very little faith in most anything or anyone. I make a point not to get my hopes up for anything because that way I won't be disappointed. I don't believe that anything happens for a reason, even though I wish it did. It is quite surprising to me when something actually goes well for me. I've often thought that I'm just a big joke to God and he hates me, or I'm cursed. Just like a stormy cloud over my head everywhere I go.
The song "Piso Mojado" was written to express how disappointing life can be. Just when you think everything is going great, you slip and fall. Here is the translation from Spanish:
"In a strange land with people of kindness
Like a gypsy I travel the world without stopping
Bad luck accompanies me every day, coldly
My own family no longer wants to talk to me
After 11 years of not seeing my dad
He said casually, "you must leave "
Taking another flight, it no longer surprises me
And blinded by anger, I walk without looking
~ Chorus ~
Wet floor, God mocks my grief
Wet floor, a meaningful life I could not find
I stumble and I stumble, pain with no end
I keep walking waiting to stumble again
Love is impossible when it's just casual
I continue to live because I must not keep silent
Damn my fortune, cursed is love
An amulet, a cleansing, a sorcerer I seek
Read my cards, turn off my pain
Crying and running, I’m wrong again"
I did get lucky once. I found someone that believes in me. Someone who thinks I am awesome just the way I am. No, not God. One flesh and blood human being. Crossing my fingers, rabbit's foot in pocket...
