My whirlwind trip to New York

Oh my goodness, where to begin?  I'll try to be as brief as possible, God help me. So much happened in those five days I was visiting my family. I have many brothers and sister who live in New York and we lost touch with each other for about 20 years. Through the magic of the internet, I was able to reconnect last year with some of them. I just came back from spending time with them after so long. Needless to say, it was very emotional for me in many ways. I met two sisters and one brother, and they all made me feel very welcomed and loved. Even though we don't really know each other well, we were able to connect and try our best to catch up. The time went by so fast!

The last time I went to New York I was 16 years old. I was there with my mother and younger brother for a month. I grew up being over-protected so we didn't go see any of the famous New York sights. While I was there this time, I went to the Empire State Building, took the Staten Island Ferry and saw the Statue of Liberty, also the 911 Memorial, ate Puerto Rican food at Spanish Harlem and so much more. I had a wonderful time but there was so much activity, so much energy coming from the city itself. Everyone is always is a hurry, always in the offensive. That was hard to get used to, although I did adapt as best and as fast as I could.  I was making sure I was right behind my sister every time we took the subway. She was going to send me on my own one morning to 125th street so I could get breakfast and check out the sights on my own, but there was no time. I did walk around Harlem, where she lives, and was starting to get familiar with the area near her apartment. It was all so new to me, just like landing in another planet and trying to figure out how it all works. It was an amazing adventure I will never forget.

So now I'm back home in California, back in my small pond, trying to rest but feeling restless at the same time. There are so many things I experienced in those five days, all the sights, sounds, tastes, feelings... I could write a ten page essay easily.  It almost feels like it was all a dream. Being in New York changed me. It's so strange what a strong effect that city can have on someone, even in such a short time. There is a quiet confidence arising within me. If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere. :)

102nd floor of the Empire State Building. It really is lonely at at the top!

Living to sing, working for a living

As we are in the final stages of writing a song from the ground up, it has been painful and joyful, all at once. Although I love creating, this is new to me. Rob (from the band Corpus Bellum) is an extremely talented guitarist, as well as being an experienced songwriter. He is also very patient. He better be; he has to deal with me. I don't quite understand the entire process yet, and I want everything to happen faster than it is, and it would, except for one small detail: we have bills and we have to eat sometimes. We both have said that we wish we could just make music for a living, to follow the muse wherever it takes us. I think that my muse would not be going in the same direction as his, but somehow they've crossed paths. He is a metal guitarist and I'm not a metal... anything. I used to listen to a little bit of metal in high school, but also salsa, merengue, new wave, freestyle, r & b, power ballads, mostly top 40. But Rob was fully submerged in metal. Scorpions and Judas Priest where more his speed. How will this ever work? When we clash, as amicably as possible, it turns into a battle of egos. Who will buckle down first? Although I'm in the forefront of this project, being the singer and all, I do respect and appreciate what Rob brings to the table. I've told him that he is the real musician. He is very knowledgeable. I am all instinct and feeling. I think we are both learning as we go, although maybe not the same lessons.

I do have plenty to write and sing about. When I was eight years old, I stood in from of the church, singing the praises of the Lord. To be honest, I loved the praises I received myself. It was a contrast from family life, where not only were there no praises, but I was punished and emotionally abused just by being a child. I faced many heartaches and disappointments as life went on. Someone out there will understand the loneliness of not being able to go to your parents for any kind of consolation or understanding. Many will know what it is to have your innocence stolen and not be able to talk to anyone about it. Pain is a common denominator for us all.

It is an exciting and sometimes difficult process to write and record a song. So many details, you wouldn't believe it! But I know this is what a want to do with my life. I can't escape it, even if I wanted to. I'm not sure where it will take me, if anywhere, but I am ready to give it a go, to give it my all. If it doesn't work, well, there is always church. Nah, who am I kiddin'? No time for that, back to work!

My setup at home. I like my mic. I think it's really pretty!

Musical adventure ahead!

Growing in Puerto Rico, it seemed like almost anyone could sing and dance. But I wanted to be exceptional. At the somewhat tender age of eight, going to church was one the highlights of my days. It was there where I was able to make music, even from the pews. I used to attend the kind of church that encouraged "audience participation," to put it one way. I would bring my Bible, wear my veil (not Catholic, but we still did so) and happily play my tambourine. I really didn't like the slow songs as much because I really couldn't play then, but I could still sing. Someone along the way noticed and soon enough, I was in front of the congregation doing solos.

As an adult, I was a part of a few choirs, in church and college. As a music major, I took voice lessons. Walking into that class that first day was so grand, with the auditorium seats and the stage. Our teacher came in, full of life, confidence and energy. It was very contagious. We each had to sing a little something for her in front of the whole class. Many students were scared and shy. I could barely wait for my turn. "Amazing grace" was the only thing I could think of singing. She only smiled and nodded, just as she had done with everyone else. Little did I know then that later on she would coach me, one on one, in her home. She was an extremely busy person, so I treasured that time. I always had the feeling that she was hoping I would take over her spot. She was almost 60 years old, but she looked much younger. She sang in many different events in the community and she was giving me many tips on how to do that well. I never finished my music education. Unfortunately, life has a way of getting in the way sometimes. I kept all I learned as a treasure of knowledge and wisdom that I currently apply in my singing. I often wonder if she found her successor. I wonder where I would be in my music journey if I had kept going and finished my degree.  Now I have to figure out how to continue just by instinct and lots of trial and error, but I suppose that is how many of us learn and live.

I am beyond excited to be able to pursuit my love of music once again. It is a deep passion of mine. Some of the most fulfilling and happiest times I spend singing, writing lyrics, helping with mixing and music writing. I daydream of doing nothing but making music for a living. I don't know if that will happen, but I will give it my best shot. I hope to find people who enjoy what I do. I would love to connect with others and if I can do that with my music, that would be tremendously fulfilling. We can all sing and dance together. This is the beginning of the ride, so who will join me?